Who doesn’t remember the magical sleepovers as a kid? The kids would be up all night watching movies, making spooky stories, and bowls and bowls of ice cream with their very best friends. But as parents, we are going to think about today’s sleepovers and the risks. With kids in a state of constant connectivity courtesy of cell phones and the internet, it is extremely natural that uneasiness pervades.
So, should we let our kids have sleepovers? Is this still a rite of passage or a risky gamble? In this post, we look into the pros and cons, with tips shared that will help you decide what is best for your family.
How Sleepovers Have Changed in the Digital Era
Today, sleepovers are not quite as common as they once were. Many parents nowadays fall into the “no sleepovers” camp, and it’s not just parents who feel this way kids aren’t that into them either. A recent New York Times survey asked students about their thoughts on sleepovers, and several shared that they don’t feel like they’re missing out by skipping them.
Now, a newer alternative has cropped up: the “sleep-under” or “late-over.” It permits kids to get in on all of the fun activities at a friend’s house but head home before bedtime. To many parents, this sounds like a happy medium: Kids can have a fun evening without the concerns of a full overnight stay.
Sleepover Risks
The Influence of Technology
Technology is, of course, one of the main reasons why sleepovers have changed. Whereas once, the most you may have had to deal with was the family TV or a desk computer in a shared room, nowadays kids have their smartphones with devices ranging from Nintendo Switches to iPads and more.
Sadly, there has been a mountain of stories where children have been exposed to content that is harmful to them, such as pornography, during a sleepover. Friends can also introduce them to apps such as Roblox or Snapchat, through which they then find themselves chatting with strangers. Sometimes this is because of peer pressure, but at other times it’s just hanging out late at night with friends, oozing with sugar and excitement, encouraging them to push boundaries they might not otherwise have. They may start by searching for things that aren’t suitable or messaging people they perhaps wouldn’t have thought of individually. It’s a more modern take on the classic “truth or dare.”
Additional Safety Issues
Apart from technological risks, other risks appear to be in greater conversation today, such as the risk of sexual assault or unsecured firearms being present in the home. The different risks will be confronted differently by each family, but parents should seriously consider these risks before agreeing to a sleepover.
The Benefits of Sleepovers
Despite the possible risks, there are a lot of advantages associated with sleepovers! Perhaps the biggest advantage is that kids get to bond with their friends in an entirely different and fun environment. Many of one’s greatest childhood memories are those made from sleepovers filled with laughter and shared moments.
Sleepovers also provide good opportunities for developing independence, flexibility, and a chance to see the world from another family’s viewpoint. It is healthy for children to step out of the comfort zone of home and school and get an idea of how other families live, which can broaden their worldview.
Best Practices for Sleepovers
Set Limits to Technology
It’s also a good idea to establish some guidelines around technology during sleepovers. While every family is different, setting clear rules for your child will go a long way in helping to create a healthy environment and giving you peace of mind. Your kid mightn’t always love the boundaries, but he will be thankful for the structure in the long run.
This may involve rules like:
- All electronics are put away at a specific time.
- No smartphones, but it’s alright for them to watch movies or play video games.
- If any form of technology is being used, it should be in a public space where a parent can supervise.
Get to Know the Other Parents
It’s always worth a call to get to know the hosting family. You needn’t do a full background check, but a few conversations will be enough to get a feel for their household and what goes on inside of it. Trust your gut as a parent, and let this opportunity present itself to discuss any apprehensions or rules that you have- such as which movies may or may not be off-limits, or what kind of content should not be accessed or shown.
Prepare Your Child Against Potential Dangers
With that said, if sleepovers are something you do, then it is time to have some very blunt conversations with your kid about potential dangers they may well face. This is not about scaring them; this is about arming them with the knowledge of how to protect themselves. Online predators and explicit content are all a little awkward, but these open conversations help kids identify sometimes when something is not quite right. Your advice can give them the confidence to get the help they need should they ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe during sleepovers.
